Post by jaigurudeva on Jan 16, 2008 17:24:50 GMT -7
Ok, here's the scoop I'm trying to write a novel and I need people to read what I write because I need feedback because my friends have done me no good. It's based on a true story and I've done my best to document it...
love STINKS
1
Once upon a time, upon a hill, upon the sunrise, there lived a young maiden in distress who was waiting for her lover to come and rescue her…
Ha! I wish! I was hardly a maiden in distress waiting for her happily ever after. Actually, I wasn’t much of anybody looking for much of anything at the time. I was just…Jo. No, not Josephine Elizabeth Clarke. Just Jo.
Now, if this was a story I’d probably give you one of those sad dejected sob stories about how I was abandoned at the age of six months, and how I’ve never known what my real family was like, and how I’ve never known what true love was about, but this isn’t a story. This is the blunt truth about love, and my studies have proven that love stinks, and I feel everyone needs to know.
So on that note: Once upon a chair. Yeah, I was standing on a chair when I met him. You see, I help around the library at school every lunch hour or so, but I was also incredibly short so I needed to stand on a chair to adjust the top shelf which is exactly what I was doing at the time.
“Excuse me” he had said.
I was immediately swept off my feet. Literally. I turned my head, (my god he was cute!), I stepped backwards, and fell off my chair.
“Yee!” I screamed when I fell.
Great first impression huh? I quickly jumped back up, offering a nervous chuckle. He looked bewildered. Nice going Jo!
“Sorry, can I help you?” I asked with a bright smile.
“No. Just passing through, thanks.”
“Oh”
Hastily I moved my chair and watched as he quickly and quietly passed by me. Smooth Jo, smooth. With a sigh I headed back towards the check out counter to see if the librarian needed me to do anything else.
Later that hour I left the library. I didn’t stay to sit with him because that would be way too obvious. Besides he would be there tomorrow, just like always.
Now let me guess. You’re wondering who the hell he is. Well I’ll explain. His name is Ned. His class is across the hall and two doors down from my class, he’s in grade seven (same as me!), and was in my class in grade five. He’s pretty much the same height as me, but I swear I’m more of a guy than he is.
Usually he wears nice jeans and a sweater. His blond hair is always in his face, but neatly combed in his face. Me? My jeans are always torn and a little baggy, I wear t-shirts with band names on them like ‘AC/DC’ or ‘Kiss’ and my short hair is always untidy. I’m a loudmouthed klutz, Ned is quiet and careful.
Could we be anymore different and un-perfect for each other? But hey, he’s cute and maybe we’d end up liking each other.
STOP RIGHT THERE! I absolutely forbid you to flip to the last page to find out what happens. Just wait. OK? So, where was I? Oh! Right.
That very same night I went to bed at nine o’clock and stared up at the ceiling for ten hours. I couldn’t get to sleep and was up all night just thinking about Ned. I wasn’t up all night because I couldn’t stop thinking about him, I was up because I had a cold, but while I was up doing nothing, I began to think about him.
I thought about how pretty he looked and acted and I thought about how I might go about approaching him. I came up with many…odd ideas:
Have you even been hit on the head with a shovel? ‘Cos that’s how it felt yesterday when I fell over. And yes, I’ve been hit on the head with a shovel before.
OK, chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla?
Can I help you?
Do you like cheese?
Can I ask you something……………? Never mind.
…Hi…
May I please sit here?
Yeah, I don’t know what half that stuff was about, but I guess after six hours my mind was on the blink. I thought vividly of what I wanted to happen and rehearsed all of my questions over and over again until I finally settled on one opening line. I decided I would ask him if he ever got annoyed with the crap songs played on the radio all the time. Yeah, I know, it wasn’t on the original list, but you’ve got to admit, it was better than the first batch I’d come up with. But still I was left with one problem.
As I mentioned before Ned was in my class in grade five, but even then we never had acknowledged each other. What made me think he would suddenly want to talk to me now? Actually to tell the truth I didn’t think about that at the time. I had one vision in my head and that was of the two of us staring starry eyed at each other, and I was determined to make that happen as soon as possible.
Now, Fact #1: Love stops you from thinking straight and makes you do stupid things. That’s exactly what happened to me, and I’m sure it’s happened to every other person who’s made the mistake of falling in love.
My conclusion is that to have a successful relationship with someone you need luck which is something that one in ten billion people have.
So anyways…
1
Is there anybody going to listen to my story?
All about the boy I had a crush on...
All about the boy I had a crush on...
Once upon a time, upon a hill, upon the sunrise, there lived a young maiden in distress who was waiting for her lover to come and rescue her…
Ha! I wish! I was hardly a maiden in distress waiting for her happily ever after. Actually, I wasn’t much of anybody looking for much of anything at the time. I was just…Jo. No, not Josephine Elizabeth Clarke. Just Jo.
Now, if this was a story I’d probably give you one of those sad dejected sob stories about how I was abandoned at the age of six months, and how I’ve never known what my real family was like, and how I’ve never known what true love was about, but this isn’t a story. This is the blunt truth about love, and my studies have proven that love stinks, and I feel everyone needs to know.
So on that note: Once upon a chair. Yeah, I was standing on a chair when I met him. You see, I help around the library at school every lunch hour or so, but I was also incredibly short so I needed to stand on a chair to adjust the top shelf which is exactly what I was doing at the time.
“Excuse me” he had said.
I was immediately swept off my feet. Literally. I turned my head, (my god he was cute!), I stepped backwards, and fell off my chair.
“Yee!” I screamed when I fell.
Great first impression huh? I quickly jumped back up, offering a nervous chuckle. He looked bewildered. Nice going Jo!
“Sorry, can I help you?” I asked with a bright smile.
“No. Just passing through, thanks.”
“Oh”
Hastily I moved my chair and watched as he quickly and quietly passed by me. Smooth Jo, smooth. With a sigh I headed back towards the check out counter to see if the librarian needed me to do anything else.
Later that hour I left the library. I didn’t stay to sit with him because that would be way too obvious. Besides he would be there tomorrow, just like always.
Now let me guess. You’re wondering who the hell he is. Well I’ll explain. His name is Ned. His class is across the hall and two doors down from my class, he’s in grade seven (same as me!), and was in my class in grade five. He’s pretty much the same height as me, but I swear I’m more of a guy than he is.
Usually he wears nice jeans and a sweater. His blond hair is always in his face, but neatly combed in his face. Me? My jeans are always torn and a little baggy, I wear t-shirts with band names on them like ‘AC/DC’ or ‘Kiss’ and my short hair is always untidy. I’m a loudmouthed klutz, Ned is quiet and careful.
Could we be anymore different and un-perfect for each other? But hey, he’s cute and maybe we’d end up liking each other.
STOP RIGHT THERE! I absolutely forbid you to flip to the last page to find out what happens. Just wait. OK? So, where was I? Oh! Right.
That very same night I went to bed at nine o’clock and stared up at the ceiling for ten hours. I couldn’t get to sleep and was up all night just thinking about Ned. I wasn’t up all night because I couldn’t stop thinking about him, I was up because I had a cold, but while I was up doing nothing, I began to think about him.
I thought about how pretty he looked and acted and I thought about how I might go about approaching him. I came up with many…odd ideas:
Have you even been hit on the head with a shovel? ‘Cos that’s how it felt yesterday when I fell over. And yes, I’ve been hit on the head with a shovel before.
OK, chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla?
Can I help you?
Do you like cheese?
Can I ask you something……………? Never mind.
…Hi…
May I please sit here?
Yeah, I don’t know what half that stuff was about, but I guess after six hours my mind was on the blink. I thought vividly of what I wanted to happen and rehearsed all of my questions over and over again until I finally settled on one opening line. I decided I would ask him if he ever got annoyed with the crap songs played on the radio all the time. Yeah, I know, it wasn’t on the original list, but you’ve got to admit, it was better than the first batch I’d come up with. But still I was left with one problem.
As I mentioned before Ned was in my class in grade five, but even then we never had acknowledged each other. What made me think he would suddenly want to talk to me now? Actually to tell the truth I didn’t think about that at the time. I had one vision in my head and that was of the two of us staring starry eyed at each other, and I was determined to make that happen as soon as possible.
Now, Fact #1: Love stops you from thinking straight and makes you do stupid things. That’s exactly what happened to me, and I’m sure it’s happened to every other person who’s made the mistake of falling in love.
My conclusion is that to have a successful relationship with someone you need luck which is something that one in ten billion people have.
So anyways…
