Alexander N. Riadasa

[Madame Lee]

So you are saying that, at the moment, Aurors are not sending him on missions?

[Alexander N. Riadasa]

Yes, I'm saying that simply because I don't think it would be right for him to be set out on a mission so soon after he was captured by death eaters. I also have a little something planned which I will discuss with you on aim.

[Madame Lee]

Wither this will stay in effect or not is unknown but slowly the ideal they are using him for is taking over his mind. The curse is literally brainwashing him to a degree were their actions and beliefs they are forcing him to follow in the dark are actually becoming his ways.

This is an interesting idea you thought of =). However Imperious curses, according to Rowling, die out once the Death Eater is no longer living/ able to control. You would need to give a name of the person that is still controlling you.

[Alexander N. Riadasa]

I'm not exactly sure who would be a good candidate. Seeing as how I don't think any cannons are alive and the only death Eater that I can seeing do this is you because of the timing, it would either be you or a made up character.

[Madame Lee]

This is not in my power to decide for one, I do not have you in my profile, and two, I am not sure weather the staff would rather have you make up a name or find someone that could control you. However, you can conclude that they are most likely not going to let you slip on that.

Cannons is also not an option. You will be altering their history.

[Revan Haine]

Very thorough Juliet, good job.

Alex, I want you to look over each and every individual post, and one by one, modify your history accordingly. You might even find it easier to simply rewrite the history; keeping the other posts in mind as a reference. There wouldn't be any gaps, and you can write it with the firm impression of your character in your mind.

Aside from that, fix up spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.

[Alexander N. Riadasa]

I will change the history completely actually, I've decided to take a different approach with this profile. I appreciate all of your post it has helped me gain the inspiration to fix this profile up and make the history a lot better.

[Madame Lee]

Understand that your character's plot was interesting. It just could not be placed in the right way because of the amount of people around.

I appreciate you considering Revan's advice. When you are done, please post back so I can help you out.

[Revan Haine]

Well..he didn't really have a choice in the matter did he? He could ignore your advice if he wanted, but he can't ignore mine.

Sometimes it rocks being me.

[Madame Lee]

lol Oh I know that. I was just saying that usually people try to argue their way out of it.

[Alexander N. Riadasa]

I've just completed the History I hope it's better then the first one.

[Madame Lee]

Alright. I just have a few things to say first about the history.

His parents had planned him going there since the day he was born. that's why they had moved there.

^ Where it is red, you need to add or correct. Don't worry. It is just a mere grammar error.

His parents were big on the dark arts as well as the perfection of blood.Because of this, they would not allow him to attend such an abomination. << (Do you mean hogwarts?)

Black magic or dark magic is a type of magic that draws on malevolent powers. It may be used for malevolent acts or to deliberately cause harm in some way. It is safe to say that the German Wizarding Government would not be happy with your parents exposing themselves to such a nature. Don't take this the wrong way. You are allowed to have the dark arts in your background, but you would need to explain how they kept their believes hidden from the government.

When you have completed that, I shall continue on. I think it is just best to correct one area at a time.

[Alexander N. Riadasa]

I have updated and edited the items you recommended I do. I hope I went about it correctly if not we always have a second try.

[Madame Lee]

Your response to the hiding of the dark arts is acceptable.

However, I am noticing a lot of run on sentences. It is not really a big deal to me, but others find it hard to read when they are around. Below, I have your errors in red to the area that we are dealing with at the moment.

Alex was born in German were he would later attend Durmstrang Institute. His parents had planned for him to attend Durmstang Institute since the day he was born. That's why they had moved there. His parents were originally from England but disliked the most likely choice of Hogwarts. His parents were big on the dark arts as well as the perfection of blood so they would not allow him to attend such an abomination like Hogwarts.

His parents surrounded him with the dark arts,. His rattle was actually made from the bones of a dark wizard. They wanted him to grew up with dark magic so that he would be more accepting of it, and become their ideal child, unlike his elder sister who they had pretty much kicked out of the family after she was sorted into Gryffindor when they had lived in Europe.

His parents also taught him German and Slavic dialect as he grew up. They completely neglecting the English language seeing as how they cared very little for it. Since it had nothing to do with Durmstung. They saw it as a waste of time. As a result, Alexander usually slips into German or Slavic when he is angry and His English is usually heavily accented. This means he isn't always understandable when he speaks English but with the other two languages he speaks perfectly.

His parents were able to keep their dark secret safe by a constant ally, (their relative) Helase, who knew a thing or two about hiding the usage of dark magic. As a result, they kept their beliefs well hidden. and The fact they didn't boast about it or ever get caught around Helase they were able to keep also kept the secret safe.

There is just some confusion in the last part you wrote below. I wrote it below explaining what I thought.

Now if things seemed to get bad and they might get cause they always made sure to get rid of any dark arts objects. They would hide them in Helase's home and retrieve them after they had escaped suspicion.

Do you mean that they would just throw away the objects? I understand the exchange idea when suspicion was low, but the sentence before that is a little bit hard to word interpret.

[Alexander N. Riadasa]

I edited all of the things you pointed out.