Alexander N. Riadasa

[Madame Lee]

With an epic display of Hydrokenises and duelings skills Salaz was killed. Alexander felt no regret for his actions and merely left the institute and returned home were he would discuss taking up the family legacy with his mother.

This was mentioned earlier. You may want to give a specific place so people don't go assuming that you performed this in school.

They have been thought of as Death Eaters which they wish they were but they have not gotten the chance at such a tittle.

I don't think a family could be considered Death Eaters if they weren't. The Death Eaters were stubburn and stuck up people that always thought higher of themselves. If you weren't one of them, you weren't considered one either.

[Alexander N. Riadasa]

I took the second part out and edited the first one.

[Madame Lee]

Before we get into spelling and grammar issues, there were a few things I ran into and thought it did not sound right.

Salaz was going to become a member of the ministrv who would bring the Riadasa and Ludsa family to justice. Alexander was enraged by these words and made his dueling skills known that day. With an epic display of Hydrokenises and duelings skills

I do not see where you have made your corrections with this. You still need say where you killed the person, and how you dealt it without being caught.

Alexander talked to his mother about the family history, and discovered that the family was well known for the dark wizards it produced.

Wouldn't he figure this out after killing his friend? You said that Alex's friend's goal was to bring justice into the world, and mentioned his family must end in order to do so. You would need to reedit this.

[Alexander N. Riadasa]

I hope it sounds better now. I edited it and put how he escaped capture.

[Revan Haine]

Apr 17, 2008 15:47:41 GMT -7 Alexander N. Riadasa said:

Alexander was able to escape capture by burning the body and hiding himself in Austrilla for about a year.

That Austria, or Australia?

Apr 17, 2008 15:47:41 GMT -7 Alexander N. Riadasa said:

Discovery of power:

Hydrokenises: During a trip to the lake at the age of 5 Alexander noticed a peculiar thing, the water it moved irregularly. He couldn't figure out why but it seemed like it was a magical reason especially since once small portion flowed the opposite way of the lake. Little did he knew that this was his doing and he had no control over it. It wouldn't be for a decade until he learned to some what control it. His mother noticed it since she to possessed the power but never actually showed it to any one for fear they would take advantage of her as did her mother.

That kinda goes against what you said in your history. You can just delete this bit, and then your good to go.

[Alexander N. Riadasa]

I meant to put Australia which I've now edited. I also took out the second part completely.

[Revan Haine]

Australia*

Accepted.