[ over my head ] [ open ]

[Amaya]

It took a long time for Amaya to get out of bed that morning. She was positively miserable and seriously wishing she had quit school when she had the chance. Then again, back home would have been worse. They had to move back to Japan and because he mother went out of business they didn't have any money anymore. It was a hard thing for her to think about. She was no longer a model. No longer rich. And no longer the center of everyone's attention. After this depressing thought she sat up slowly and climbed out of the four poster bed, pushing the green curtains out of her way.

She brushed her fingers through her hair before quickly pulling on a t-shirt and some jeans and exiting the common room full of bustling Slytherins. She wandered for a while, eventually finding herself in the group commons which was oddly empty for a Saturday morning, or afternoon seeing as to Amaya slept all through the morning. Amaya fell backwards onto the couch, laying there in complete silence and wishing suddenly the IPod worked at Hogwarts.

[lucychiang]

Thankfully it was a Saturday as Lucy came back from quidditch practice. Her pads and gloves were in a muggle sports bag as was her towel. She'd showered in the Hufflepuff locker room after she was done and came into the common room wearing a black jumper and a favoured black and white tartan skirt. These days she did look like a girl as she entered with her hair still in its ponytail.

Just how did friends become estranged over the years? Lucy couldn't figure this particular case out but she clearly remembered the argument that had started this all off. Ever since then they'd had less and less to do with each other.

[Amaya]

Amaya heard someone else enter the Common Room behind her but ignored their presence and just continued staring into the fire which seem terribly out of place since it was hot outside. She narrowed her eyes but the curiosity got the better of her and sat up and turned slowly to see who was also in the room with her.

When she spotted Lucy, Amaya couldn't help but roll her eyes and fall back on to the couch. If it was possible, Amaya had become even more of a bitch since she lost everything she wanted in the world. Everything that was good and perfect, "Ohaiyou Chiang-Chan..." She whispered as if to show the formalities as she would in Japan. It was only natural.

[lucychiang]

The formal Japanese greeting showed to Lucy just how far they'd drifted from each other. Ayama had used to use Lucy's first name. Not anymore it seemed but Lucy wasn't going to stir up trouble.

"Hello Kohana-Chan" Lucy quietly replied in English as she echoed the formal Japanese custom. Just what could happen today? Lucy had long given up on her feelings for Amaya since there hadn't been any sign of them being returned. She'd be patient and was resigned to having to wait until she graduated until she could live the way she wanted to. Then she'd be free to pursue a lesbian relationship without judgement.

Spying an armchair near the couch she chose that and curled her legs under it as she made herself comfortable. Then she had a question which she hoped might break the tension of two years barely communicating with each other.

"Hows things?" was her quiet but warm question. She expected it asked off her in return but she was making progress. She wouldn't have a boyfriend in the future but she was trying to take each person as she found them. Her general hatred of boys was almost gone. Certainly an improvement for her as she dealt with how she felt internally.

[Amaya]

In Japanese herritage, respect is of the utmost importance. Whether it be true respect, or just a mask one puts on (like Amaya) it is still important. In this light, Amaya narrowed her eyes and turned away from the girl who had just occupied the arm chair next to her couch but said simply, "Fine."

She was kind of bitter about Lucy using the Japanese honourific even though she was not remotely Japanese. Secretly, it had bothered her before but she never said anything but Lucy was one of Amaya's few friends at the time. Now that was not the case, Amaya had no friends and needed none. She almost wished she had taken up a muggle school rather than returning to Hogwarts where it reminded her of what she had lost.

[lucychiang]

Amaya's mask was in place and Lucy couldn't read her feelings through it. Not even the bitterness she was feeling. That Amaya had cut herself off from others was kind of known to her but she didn't know much about the collapse of the MJ label. She did know it had happened but that was it. It had been mentioned in the muggle fashion but details were scarce.

Amaya turning away and giving the short answer made her wonder if it was worth trying to carry on this conversation. They were both witches who had lost plenty but were still standing. What didn't kill you usually made you stronger.

"So how are you finding your OWL's so far?" she quietly asked. One word answers didn't lend themselves to conversation but she'd still try. Lucy looked calm and controlled and she tried to keep her tone warm and friendly.

[Amaya]

Amaya resisted the urge to roll her eyes in exasperation. Surprisingly enough, she didn't show one bit or her annoyance. She was completely and utterly expressionless. As Lucy mentioned OWLs Amaya shrugged and leaned back to look at the ceiling, "Simple."

Another one word answer.

It was strange for Amaya to feel guilty but she was starting to. Lucy used to be her friend and she was completely disregarding her attempt at conversation. Despite the tinge of guilt, Amaya quickly got over it in the blink of an eye and licked her lips, turning her head to look into the fire again.

[lucychiang]

Another one word answer followed and Lucy had the feeling it would be better if she just slipped away and left Amaya to wallow in her current state of affairs. Lucy however couldn't live with a mask covering her feelings. She wore her feelings on her sleeves. Looking round to check nobody else could listen in she had what might be a shock for Amaya to deal with. If they weren't going to talk again it was important in Lucy's mind her former friend knew this.

"You know Amaya I had feelings for you; feelings that blossomed just before we drifted apart. So where did we go wrong?" she almost whispered. She was sure others had figured out she was lesbian by now and Amaya was one of the ones who were smart enough to maybe figure it out on her own. Amaya was the first girl she felt an attraction to and an ember of this remained even now.

So she kept her eyes level with Amaya to see her reaction. Even if Amaya was trying to avoid looking at others by looking into the fire. If Amaya pushed her away she'd know for sure where they stood; and her future belonged with somebody else.